So. I am a jackass.

two nights ago i knocked over one of those giant gumball machines from a highway rest stop comming out of portland.

listen, kids, those things arent bolted to the ground. if your gumball gets stuck, DO NOT shake it from the bottom while you sit on the floor. it will crash on top of you and be very loud and angry.

seriously, i crippled a gumball machine... you dont want to do that.

think of all the children who go to that rest stop hoping for gumballs and can have none now...