Every morning i put on my plastic smile and cheery mood and make the trek down to her room to say good morning. when i enter her room it smells like a hospital room, and looks more like one. I have to keep reminding myself to keep my smile on, to talk loud and clearly, and watch my language.

sometimes, when i bring her something, she cries. but usually she smiles her sad "i'm tired of all this" smile.

The nurses come in and help wash and take care of her. they're hospice nurses now... six months or less to live. they dont think she'll make it untill christmas. she's ready to go. she wants it to end now. i dont know what i'm going to do without her.

grammy is amazing. at 85 she tought me to ride a horse. at 90 she tought me how to garden. at 94, how to make a perfect apple pie. at 95, we moved on to strawberry rhubarb... I've never known a more amazing woman than my great grandmother. she has never been anything but wonderful.

but her son... he called the other day. not to ask how she was, but to find out when she was signing the house and land over into his name.

which she isnt anymore.

and then his wife, (the evil cunt) gets on the phone and starts yelling that grammy is faking it. she just wants attention and to put off signing the house over...

I'd like to kill that step-grandma of mine.

and my grammy, she's heart broken now. she's falling into herself, her son has stopped caring. she has no one but my mother and my mothers children. she loves us, but she misses her son.

mom cries herself to sleep at night, i hear my father trying to comfort her.

sunshine runs away every time something happens. she goes in for five mintues to say hi and ask if grammy needs anything.

the boys dont know what's happening, they just go in and read to her, or show her their muscles, as five year old boys do.

dad brings her culinary masterpieces, to coax her into eating something.

renee talks to her like she's a child,

and me? I just keep my plastic smile on.