Two things.

First, my mothers change of life makes me want to gnaw my ovaries out to avoid turing Mr. Hyde like her.

and second. Why is it that whatever higher power it is that's out there keeps granting my wishes in these really fucked up ways? I will explain:

Today at work a 17 year old Eminem wannabe, complete with ghetto-"i've got a load in my pants" walk and fake gangsta' word stylings says to me when i ask if he needs anything "aw, naw, baby-girl, all i needs is for you to go out with me saturday night."

Now, had i not been working i probably would have laughed and spit in his face. Instead, I asked his age. "19," he says. He is lying. i can tell.

"how old are you really?" i ask.

"aw, baby, age dont matter none, i can still work you up with my g-unit."

(what the fuck is a g-unit? nevermind, i think i know.)

"I'm sorry, but you're what? seventeen?" he nods. "yea. that's just too young for me, dear. now, you're here for a gift basket for your mom, right?"

so, i help him find a gift basket, complete with my favorite smell in it (sweet pea) and a cute little teddy bear. so, i walk him up to the register to wrap it and ring him out.

HE GRABBED MY ASS.

Possibly i should be flattered by the attention. but... I just cant really work myself into enjoying someone who's teeth will probably fall out from poor hygene by the time he's 30.

*sigh* I know i said i wanted a boyfriend... but i'd like one with similar interests to my own, and who's legal... and possibly an IQ higher than 100.

ya know what i mean, dawg? (shoot me now.)