i thought about mark today, for some reason. I remembered the first time he cried in front of me. I remembered the first time he told me he loved me.

more than either of those, i remember this one day, when we were playing the "lets just be friends" game... after having been together almost a year, and he noticed the scar on the back of my right elbow... the one from the iron.

"when did you get that?" he asked me.

"when i was fourteen, i think. maybe a little older. my memere accidently hit me with a hot iron... long story."

"oh. I thought i knew every inch of your body..." he said...

no one has ever said anything so romantic to me in my life...

he hurt me so bad.

i hated him so much.

but i hope he's happy. and i hope he finds what he was looking for.

i wish he knew though, that when i was with him... it was really me. there were no lies, there was nothing but me.

and i honestly loved him.

i still do.