last night when i went to bed i prayed for the first time in almost as long as i can remember...

dear god,

I dont know if you're up there or if you like me or if you care... but i'd like to think you do. It is selfish of me to ask what i am about to ask. my kitten dissapeared today. and the last time i got to see him was when i called him a bad kitty for not using the litter box and then i threw him outside... Please bring my kitten back to me. I honestly do love him and i dont think he deserves to be punished because i'm a bad person... i promise not to ask for anything else if you bring him back... please? please, i love him... give me my baby back. please.

thank you.

i fell asleep crying, knowing that somehow, auggy's dissapearance is my fault...

this morning when i woke up i went for a walk... out in the woods and up and down my street... I looked like a fool, crying and calling his name... but wouldnt you do the same for your baby?

all i want is my kitten to be safe. I know you think this is dumb, but i love him. I cant have real children, Auggy is the closes i've got.

I prayed that my baby come home... that he would be ok...

and he didnt.

and now i dont know what to believe.